The unprofessional me..

After raya, it's a routine for people to upload their photos to facebook during hari raya. So does one of friend in my friend list. Just now,  I'm in a happy mood to check on my facebook "home". Then, I saw photos of person that I have grudge with.. My mood switched at that instant. Just feeling angry and just want to curse and everything.

At that instant, I decided to remove everyone that are related to him from my friend list. So that there's no more him in my life. It's done and there's no turning back. Sorry zuquzaify. I just want to move on.

Yes, I'm not professional in handling this kind of emotion. I'm sorry.

Scary moment

Things that I feared the most when coming back home is to confront with my parents about my break-up with my ex. I really scared so I have planned what to say and what not to tell them.hmmmm.....

I can see my dad's disappointment. Maybe he already seeing my ex as my future husband.(although he never talk to him).. I explained to them what actually happen (roughly). They seem to be fine with it. (Don't worry. I care what they think of you, so I won't talk the bad things that you've done to them.) Before this, I'm the one who eagerly "promoted" my ex to my parents, trying hard to convince them that he is nice. But now, I'm ashamed of myself for it. Huhuhuhu....

I'm glad that I still have my parents' supports. They want me to concentrate 100% on my academic.

From now on, I determined to be the best daughter that they are really proud of. (Rosli, your post really made me think a lot)

Thanks all my friends for supporting me through this difficult time.

My experience

Love is really something magical for me, on how it can really affects my daily life. How it can affects my behavior, turning me from bad to nice, increase my confidence and etc.

Let me tell you about my experience in matriculation year, that was the time when I was seriously fallen in love. It is just like some kind of hypnosis changing my life as I known before. World feels like such a wonderful place. No more boring life as I used to gone through, although I'm doing the same thing over and over again. My love one's face (at that time) cheer up my day, his smile blew me away and I lead the rest of the day with smile on my face thinking about him. I think about him all the time, hope to see him everywhere I go, I want to tell all my friends that I'm with him and I cried a lot while thinking that matriculation is ending and I'm not going to be near to him anymore..(so stupid)

Everything changed right after the matriculation year ended. He is in Sarawak & I'm in Sabah. For my friend from peninsular,no, people don't drive from Sabah to Sarawak, and again no, it is not near,it may takes more than 24hours or so. So, as a conclusion, we can't meet.

I don't know why and how, we just keep on having disagreements when we are far away. My friend said that, our "base" has not "mature" yet when we finally has to be far apart. Just two months into a relationship and then we have to be far away from each other.It is not ideal. Just imagine, like you used to meet everyday and he lived less than 1km from you, ans suddenly you can't meet him and he is nowhere near you. This kind of relationship can't hardly maintain.(just my opinion)

What I regret about love is, most of the time,it is temporary....Why feelings must changed? Why people did something that will make the feeling disappear? Why we must have feelings after all, if it is not permanent?

I wish I will experience this feeling again. It's so pleasurable like I'm on drug or something. But I do hope, this time, it will be permanent~~~

Love songs

I'm thinking back the moment when I was still in relationship with my ex. He dedicated many love songs to me. Sometimes he sang for me, sometimes he just gave me the title of the song and ask me to listen to the song. He said, "this song is for you". All the songs have really romantic lyrics that will definitely melt everyone's heart.

Now, I'm reminiscing the moment and realizing how naive I was to fall for all that. Songs are just words with music that sometimes have magical touch to it. It makes everyone go crazy and can listen to it over and over without feeling bored. People dedicates song, but they just mean to dedicate some part of the lyrics, not all. The worst is, they don't really mean any of the words inside the lyric. They just dedicate just for fun or just to show off that they knew some new songs..perhaps!

Anyway, I still love listening to love songs. :-p