June 26, 2010


I'm not a fan of old/antique stuff excepts of few old notes of RM1 and RM2 that still in my wallet(yes,I use a wallet) just for collection.I'm proud to have it.

Years back, my brother went to Lahad Datu just to buy an old non-working vespa. First, he bought it just for RM600. But the cost to take it from LD to Tawau is another case. He send the vespa to his friend's workshop and they did everything they can to restore its function and to make it look new. After years of work and thousand ringgits of money spent, it finally function well and my brother is really proud of it. He even send it for display in a Tawau motor show.

Now, the vespa is ready to be used anytime. But the problem with this antique motorcycle stuff is its can't be use as hard as the new one. You can't ride it for a long journey. It always breaks down or have problem when you ride it too often and the maintenance took a lot of my bro's time and money. When it breaks down, it once again need to be taken to the workshop and definitely my lil' brother will be the one who suffers because my elder bro is working at the peninsular and not here.

As I think about the cost of restoring the function of this junk and replacing each of it's accessories. I definitely will say that it will better just to buy a brand new car. My interest is more to real estate, not vehicle. I still don't understand why my bro love this hobby anyway..

My lil' bro. My elder forced him to wash these.

June 24, 2010

The father's day card

Back in matriculation, our English teacher, Miss Janaki assigned each of us to make our own card for Father's Day.She told us that each card will be send to our respective father and she's the one who's willingly buying us stamps and post all the cards for us. Back then I'm so naive and passionate.. I wish I could be like that now.

Miss Janaki has really did a blissful work. She made us did something to show that we still remember our dad and reminds us of why we are there back then.

My Father's Day card is still hanging on the wall in my house. My father stick it to the wall when he received it few years ago.

It just look like a card that made by a 5 years old.

It contains a promise that I've unable to achieve back then.I'm too afraid to read it now and be reminded about it again.....


Last Monday ,I went out to town with some friends. Then, I invited them to simply hang out at my house. The last time we met each other is last semester holiday. We talked for 4 hours or so, chatting about movies,music,love&marriage,guys and stories about other friends. We also talk about our age. 21. It's really hard to believe that we are this old.

I'm 21 years old.Nothing can shrink this number. I realized that there are still plenty of nonsense stuffs I'm still doing such as expressing my feeling towards a relationship that's full of shit, prioritize entertainment more than other important things in life, being so childish and still running in the house chasing my lil brother (he's 19) or being chased by him, requesting foods from my dad although supposedly I should have known how to cook it myself in this age and etc. I'm really being immature. How am going to lead my own life if this is how I behave.

I haven't use my full potential yet to really push myself in achieving something. You can see it by my average exam result in USM and also from my unorganized life just like living a life without a vision. I hope this 21-years-old thing will really have effects on my life this opening semester. I really want to achieve that "something". I dare myself to prove that I can really do it.

I want to sing

Today, I woke up and I feel like singing. It certainly due to last night long-hours of music-downloading-session. I want to karaoke-singing badly.But unfortunately, my home HiFi is still in the shop and has been there for almost a year now. It's just hard to find the replacement of the non-working part of that device. It seems like today electronic stuff seems to be  "pakai buang" stuff. When it's not working, you can't fix it anymore.As a result, you need to buy a new one. There's always newer version available in the market and after sometime, the previous device is no longer produced and spare part nowhere to be bought.

Then I think of the idea of singing by mic using this laptop. I searched for the info on how to let my voice from the mic to be directly emitted by the laptop speaker. I found a software called Microphone Pass-Through Emulator and this problem solved. But then, I realized that my voice will take sometime before being emitted by the speaker. It's just kind of delayed. I end up like those phone participant of singing contest in the TV. Their voice seems to passed through so many telephone line, satellites and other obstacles before received by the TV station and after sometime broadcast to our TV. haha.. Plus, I noticed that mic on my headphone is not really efficient in detecting low frequency voice and my voice partly can't be heard.

Such a waste, I already downloaded some of my favorite songs minus 1 with video and lyrics. I wish I know where the Kbox located here in Tawau. Is there any?

June 20, 2010

The tears.

I just read my friend's post about her childhood "crying" memories.You can read it here.

It reminds me of the same things happened to me when I'm in form 1. I'm so vulnerable at the time. Crying seems familiar to me.Not in front of anyone, It's just when my dad's around(I really don't know why).It's all due to the new surrounding after entered the secondary school. Actually, the district education office located me in to a all-girls secondary school here in Tawau. But, I did not want to go there because my brother and my sister keep on teasing the school as "sekolah janda". So, I told my dad that I didn't want to go and by all means, he must get another school for me. With his friend's help and my average UPSR result, I got into a well-known secondary school for excellence in my district, that is SMK Tawau.

I just registered into the all-girls secondary school, paid all the fees but luckily somebody replaces my spot and pay her fees to me in return. I never have my school session in that school.

My first day in SMK Tawau is kind of weird. The first weird part is, we only got there by 3pm although the afternoon session of the school is supposed to be at 12.45pm.(my dad took this easy) Then, we go to the "Penyelia Petang"'s office to finalize my registration. By the time, they haven't divided the students according to their academic performance in UPSR. As I registered late, I was sent to 1 Harmonis class. You know? How many alphabets it is from A to H? Yes,the 8th class and it is the last class in form 1.

I went into the class with my dad. (my dad used to be my loyal partner) After I got into the class, there's no chair left for me to sit. I went out from the class searching for my dad and I started crying. Perhaps due to the fact that they don't give me a CHAIR.Haha.. After sometime, the Penyelia Petang himself ask somebody to get a chair for me.

I sit on that chair for less than 30minutes I guess. Then, my dad "steal" me out from the school.(as the first day of school, it's all about the registrations,P&P do not really takes place).My dad brought me to a Kedai Kopi. We ate some langsat, drink some cups of Milo Panas, my dad smokes his cigarette(at that time, now he gave up on that now) there. After some time, he took me back from the school and he took me back from there as the school session finishes.Hihihihi...Such a weird memory to share.

The second "nonsense crying" session takes place also in the same year. I'm still new with the school bus. It's not that I never got into a school bus before, but that I need to wait it for a long time and walk to that waiting place. I met some new friends during the bus-waiting moment. There's one time, where he mistakenly thought my bag is his(due to the same blue colour) so he took it home. He is riding the other school bus which arrives earlier than mine. As a result, I have to carry his home and hopefully we can switch the bags the next day.

As soon as the bus drops me at my neighbourhood, I saw my dad on his motorcycle. I got to the motorcycle and start crying .I told him about the bag. (I got onto the motorcycle for him to take me near my house that's just about 15 foot steps away from where the bus drops me). Funny right? How wonderful my father was and he still is. Can I really be as patient as he is? Always there for me to listen for my cry and laugh. Do many things for me. Asking for help from his friend to got me into a new school, although the reason I didn't want to be in the first school is barely because afraid of the word "sekolah janda"?

I'm not a good daughter. I don't deserve to have you as a dad. How can I not be grateful for having you as a father for all the things you have done to me all these years?

I love you dad. I do. Happy father's day.(tears is coming out)

June 18, 2010

Header blog

Aku tergelak sendiri tengok header blog aku ni..kanak2 riang betul..haha...beginilah jadinya kalau tak teror photoshop tapi nak memandai buat header.kihkihkih...anda2 sekalian.silalah komen header ini.:-p

June 16, 2010

Go public~~

I want my blog to go public by letting Google show search result from it, by freely advertise my URL in my FB or even FS. But, I frequently write too emotional post that seems to be inappropriate for my family and other people to read. I just scared of people perception towards me changed. Even if my siblings are around me in the house, I won't open my blog and if I do, I will make sure that they don't see my blog URL. I just afraid that they might read it and worry about me especially when I'm in Penang alone without them. So, I think make my blog go public when I stop writing emotional posts that make me seems weak in front of others. Plus, I won't make it too personal.

I even afraid when more and more people know my blog. It basically narrow my writing in the sense of  my openness to public. I just afraid of what they might think of me. Is this makes me a hypocrite?

I really want my blog to go public when I'm ready (when I stop writing nonsense). When will it be? I wonder...

June 14, 2010

Happy birthday, my friend

Happy birthday Noranisah Binti Amat, teman baik aku merangkap pembaca blog setia aku. Memandangkan sekarang ko tgh urus kem remaja Islam, jadi nanti2 lah kita jalan k..Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki, dapat suami yang beriman dan baik hati serta semoga ko brjaya dlm akademik seterusnya menjadi Dietitian/nutritionist yang cemerlang.(ayat yang main sambung jak.asal ada.:-p)

Take care, my friend..

June 13, 2010

Midnight talk

This holidays, I used to the habits of seeking approval for my mom on what to where when I go out from the house. She always tells me not to wear this and that and force me to wear her tudung. She said that my tudung is what kindergarten kids will wear because it's just so plain simple. For your information, she has hundreds of tudungs and I don't know why she must have all that. All of her tudung seems to be "datin-like" with 3++ lines of manik, sulaman and she spend hundreds for some of it. She said that she can't wait for me to stay for practical in Kelantan so that I can bought for her with tudung with much cheaper price and a bundle seems affordable with that price. Me? I'm speechless and told her that she still need to wait if she wants that..At least, she is aware of the importance of appearance in front of the public and me?I don't really care..

My mom also loves collecting plate,utensils and anything related to kitchen wears. She has a house full of all these. You don't believe me?Come to my house then. I bet you will found a whole set of something under my sister's and bro's beds. She can't put under it's own because it has drawer underneath it. Still don't believe me? Then you can climb up and look above my bro's cupboards, I'm sure you'll find boxes of something there. It's all everywhere in the house because the cupboards to put it all are already filled with them until the cupboard gained additional height due to the stuff she put above them. It's sounds funny right. But that's what my mum loves. I tell you this because just now a boxes of Giacomo kitchen set arrived and she doesn't know where else to put.Until now, I don't really know where it ends up...I just wonder where did she digs the space...When I asked her why she likes to collect all these, she just said it's easy to organize celebration for our wedding?huh??!

I love my mum so much..At least she has hobbies. She doesn't spend much. Just collecting from year to year.Eventually her collection piles up. Before she married to my dad she already has some kitchen sets that still exist until now. Can you imagine that.It's more than 25 years ago..

Me?? I like to collect...hmmmm...memories? does it counts?

June 12, 2010


Last saturday, I went to Taman Bukit Tawau with a group of "youngsters".Haha..Not that I'm not young anymore.But they are for sure younger than me by two years.It's actually organized by my brother. So basically, almost all who joined us are his friends and same age with him. I want to support him with this, so I invited two of my friends to joined, mainly I wanted to have more people to join this first-time-organized-by-him-plan. I invited Nisa and Hafiz. All together, there are 15 of us.

Me & Nisa preparing the chicken for BBQ

Khalidah, Nisa & me

All of us(except for the person who's taking this photograph)

Me, Hafiz, Khalidah & my childhood friend, Wina

It is awkward to be around a group of youngsters(haha). Me, Nisa n Hafiz laughing to realize that we are seniors and claim that each of us doesn't look like one.haha..It's a great trip. My brother successfully organized it and shockingly he organized the same trip this morning with different group of friends but I was too tired too join.

My ex-classmates planning to organize ourselves one of this trip. Looking forward for it. Just met Yantie, Ridwan and some other friends yesterday. Surely it will be anytime soon...

June 10, 2010

Pulau Bum-Bum

I used to laugh when I heard the name of this island. Eventually, I have a chance to go to the island with other PERSIS comittee members for Back To School program last month. We didn't do motivation program at the school in the island. It's just a trip to experience the life there. We stayed at the house of our "adopted family". But for muslim boys, they slept in the mosque near the house. The house is build above the sea .But it can't fit us all 30+ people.Other than sleeping time, the guys do hang out at the house with us though.

I've been really excited of the boat ride to the island. I always love boats. We arrived at the house and have  have have our own impression when looking at the house as soon as we arrived. But the funny things is, as soon as we go inside the house, a 42inch Samsung LCD TV in our sight with Astro service. The living room with the nice furniture, decoration and stuff. It's all just pretty impressive. We laughed our heart out.

In the afternoon, we went to a place called "jetty".That's the place where people here will go for a swim in the ocean. The view is heavenly!The water is so clear, you can see right under the water for coral and stuff. Plus, we were there until the sun is setting. What a pleasure to see the sunset.The colours of the sun is just amazing as it's above the ocean. It was indeed a romantic moment.haha!

 The Jetty

 Our dinner together

We took a photo before we go back to Semporna main land the next morning.

Tired of writing too much. You must be bored of reading. This island which is not much developed impressed me a lot. The people, the surrounding and the most important is the ocean view. What can I say is, I will surely go there once again in the future.

June 9, 2010

Full result is out!

I got my result semester 4 final exam yesterday. All I can say is...I'm still grateful for what I have achieved.But I'm not that satisfied with it. At least, I will still got a letter which congratulate for this semester result. Until now, the warning letter from JPA, I still manage to prevent. Hah....Don't ever think being sponsored by scholarship is shiny day all the way...They will send your parents letter at the end of every semester, telling them you result. If you have CGPA under 3, they will surely warn you and blackmail you that they will take away your scholarship.

My results, I have 2A- for easy subject like Bahasa Malaysia & Taekwondo and lots of B+ and B, no B-. Unfortunately, I got a solid C for the subject that I admit me myself is responsible for screwing it. Basically, this subject drags my pointer down into the water. All together, there are 8 subjects.

I am surely mad at myself for not concentrating on this 4 units subject.I'm still grateful that I passed the subject though, as thinking back my condition during my study week. I'm lucky to survive that. I cried my heart out. My ex is trying to lie to me and emotionally blackmailed me. Luckily, I got it all straightened up. Thanks to you Erna.

Female = emotions. I respect those who can achieve great results in exam although they just recently suffered from a break-up. You are really tough, girl!

The power of yellow glove..hahahaha...(UMS, pinjam bas kejap yaa..)

June 8, 2010

My birthday..

I have my 21st birthday during the 10 days "Back to School" program organized by PERSIS. It was on 25th May, the same date when the provisional result is announced. Luckily, the result relieves me and curved a smile on my face. The plan they got for my birthday was kind of a surprise.Past-midnight no one wishes me except for my sis whose SMS me right on time although all girls involved in this program is staying in the same big room with me. In the morning, we depart from Lahad Datu and went to Air Terjun Madai. I have a blast there. The water is cold and the waterfall is just amazing!It was there they present me with the cake and I'm grateful that they remembered. Thanks to all that involved. and also thanks for the PEPSI, Bahar!

To be honest, I didn't use my free call from celcom for the entire week except for calling my bro for less than 5 minutes. I don't know who else to chat with. I don't really enjoy talking on phone except to that one guy who took my heart and eventually broke it into pieces. hmmm....I should have more contact list in my mobile phone I guess...

It's a tradition of our society to have surprise celebration if any of us go through their birthday. Myself has involved in planning many of it.

Gwen's birthday. It's really a hardwork! We all gathered at USM post-office at night. One of my friend called her, telling that her bicycle run through something and need Gwen's help to have a look. It's real funny because from their conversation through the phone which all of us can hear, we notice some sort of laughter from Gwen. We guess, she figured it out!

Nad's birthday plan was a disaster! It's all Shahrul fault who's not really good at telling lies and said something not even logic at the time. But still, the flour all over the birthday girl is surely a "surprise".

We are getting better doing birthday surprises. Wiwin's birthday have been planned carefully. I think I loss a lot of weight that night. Running around the Padang Kawad chased by Wiwin,WITH A BAG OF FLOUR IN HER HAND!!!Note that.

Mik, Naja & Achok birthday... It's more happening than ever. We gathered a lot of Sabahans to celebrate their birthdays together(not all in the photos off course). The cake just taste wonderful!!

Thinking of doing birthday surprises? You know who you should contact then...kihkihkih......

June 6, 2010


Peria @ bitter gourd dish

I've attended 3 wedding celebrations during this holiday. It is not really much compared the invitations that my parents got.Surely school holiday season will be synonyms with wedding. People get married when there's school holiday and surely there's no school holiday when someone get married.hehehe..enough of that. In every celebration that I went, there are bitter gourd served as part of the main dish. I'm just wondering, why??

It's not that I ask this because I don't like bitter gourd although it's true. Why all the sudden, people in Tawau liking bitter gourd anyway? It is shocking for me at first, because people here never serve it before this , you know. But now suddenly it became meal of choice in any celebrations.

As the name tells, it's bitter. I thought it is unripe mango at first and i took it in a vast amount(I blame the lighting for this) then I realized that it's bitter and ughhhh..You can imagine that for sure.

I was thinking like, is this vegetable suddenly have drop in it's price or what?